January 21, 2006

What am I doing in Manila?

After 4 months and 9 days here, I should probably tell you why am I here... :)
Some of you do know but some others aren't so lucky as to get regular news - sorry...

I'm still working with NGOs, still working with ACH - so far my longest employer in spite of the interruptions -. Oh, for those who don't know, ACH stands for Acción contra el Hambre.
I'm am still (again) an Administrator, which means my days are spent with accounting, Excel tables, financial reports, a bit of human resources management (and some HHRR paperwork like contracts and so) and a bit of legal affairs though not so much on this mission. A big part of my job here has been selecting and recruiting a new mission administrator.

Now, this doesn't mean I dropped the Yoga or my idea of buying a flat in Setúbal.
But... a certain group of circumstances have brought me here for a few months:
- ACH needed an Administrator for a few months;
- I needed a job and hope to have the right to the unemployment subsidy afterwards, thus having some base to hold on to while I develop the Yoga courses and possibly look for a job in Portugal (while I can't depend only on the Yoga);
- I was missing being in the field and on that phase: "hmm.. Can I really settle down?..." and "It's so great being 'on the field'!..." and... Well, some (1) say this is like a virus that you can never eradicate. Once you get it, you're doomed to be forever restless and periodically (or forever) on the move.
Using the words of our dear António Variações, as often quoted by me and my friend Faneca: "Estou bem aonde não estou, porque eu só quero ir aonde não vou..."
[I'm fine wherever I am not, 'cause I only want to go wherever I'm not going to.]

I can tell you, it's sometimes tough to live like this... And sometimes I have wished I could be more like some of you. But you know what? I am not... And I'm quite happy with who I am. Not quite - I am happy!
I was speaking with one of my friends on msn a few weeks ago about what we most fear in life... Although I'm a quite calm and relaxed person most of the time (so much I trouble my Dad who isn't all that calm... (2)), I can't possibly imagine stopping thinking, stopping learning, stopping changing; and, above all, I can't see myself doing exactly the same thing on and on and on everyday, nor can I see myself not agreeing or not being happy with something I see, hear, live and not saying or doing anything about it.

So... I'm heading back to Madrid on the 5th (fingers crossed... my Madrid's supervisor has confimed the date last Wednesday but I don't have the flight booking yet...), should spend 2-3 days at the HQ for my debriefing and, then, back home to finally buy my flat (great thanks to Filipa and Gonçalo who are patiently waiting for me all this time) and go back to study and teach Kundalini Yoga - start checking your schedules, we're back in track, people!

What if Yoga doesn't work? What if I get restless again? Well, I'll just move on and start again! But it might just work, you know... :) And I do love you even if we think differently in some ways.

Hmm... I got to run now. I'm having dinner at Felix's, some savoyarde specialties cooked by his father. And still have to drop by the supermarket to buy some wonderful Chilean red wine - (Gato Negro, always, mestre Arturo!).

Read Agostinho da Silva.
Soundtrack to this post: Nickelback, Evanescence, Texas and Enya. That's who I am. :)

(1) These some are, of course, others who feel like I do. And that for some of you who read these lines are just as weird as the Aliens on Sci-fi movies...
(2) Let's see if I can get you to post something with this open challenge, Dad! ;)

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